What if there was only one homeless person?

Now I know that sounds ridiculous, but I just thought, “If there was only ONE person who needed  a home, wouldn’t most of us feel inclined to help?” Doesn’t that seem like a no-brainer? If you knew that you could help the one person who needed it, wouldn’t you do it? I think almost everyone would, I really do. Because it seems manageable. If one person needed a home, we would ask around to see if anyone knew of a place he could stay. If only one person needed a job, we would surely be able to suggest five people that she could talk to who had open positions. If only one person was hungry, we would take turns bringing him meals until he could manage better on his own.  If there was only ONE person struggling in our society or our community, I really believe we would feel a civic responsibility to help. Helping just one person sounds easy.

So why is that when we are tasked with helping groups of people, we fall short? If you break it down, it looks like this: if every one of us who could help someone else, even in a small way, did just that, then as a whole we could make an enormous impact. I’m not claiming to be the first person to ever spout this idea. I know this is nothing new. People have been screaming this for years. Non-profits have been asking the masses to donate their time and resources since practically the beginning of time. But to most people, when they look at “helping those in need” it sounds like a huge task- a daunting responsibility – (because that’s typically how it’s presented to us to point out the magnitude of these issues, i.e. homelessness, hunger, poverty, etc.). We lose perspective when we look at it on only a large scale, and we fail to realize that our assistance usually DOES go toward helping one individual…and on that scale it feels much more personal – and much more doable.

For example, Clothes That Work is hosting an event in March called The Fairy Godmother Project that will allow girls in need of prom dresses to go in and try on dresses, hoping to find the perfect dress to make them feel like a prom night princess. During the weeks prior to the March 17th event, CTW and several area partners are collecting prom dresses from women (like me) who have them hanging in the back of the closet from years ago…Someone suggested I use my store as a drop zone for people to bring in their dresses, and I jumped at the chance to get involved. It’s such an easy way to make a difference, and hopefully people will step up and join in the effort by digging through their closets and bringing in their own prom treasures to help make the day of a young lady in need. Your one dress will go to help one lucky girl – see the impact? Getting involved in something bigger than yourself doesn’t take much – I’m simply putting out a bin and spreading the word – and if it makes a difference to even one person, it’s worth it.

There are countless ways one person can make a difference, you just have to pay attention. Here are a few suggestions I received from my friends on Facebook today when I challenged them to think of their favorite “easy” way to give back:

• Donate Blood every eight weeks
• Become a “Big” with Big Brothers Big Sisters
• St. Vincent de Paul (folding laundry or stocking the food pantry)
• St. Jude Children’s Medical Research
• Volunteer with A Kid Again (or give $5/month)
• If you’re a business owner, donate your own services, location, or silent auction items to charities who could use them
• Get your kids involved in the Light the Night Walk for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society

Again, I have to ask…if it was just one person who needed help, wouldn’t you jump at the chance?

Just once this week, I challenge each of you to put down the laptop, the iPad, the smart phone….and make something with your hands. And don’t tell me you’ve forgotten how to do that. Remember in elementary school how we had art class at least once a week? We’d make paintings, chalk rubbings, little clay pots, crepe paper turkeys, paper mache globes…you name it, we made stuff with our hands. And it didn’t seem weird then, did it? Nope.

But somewhere along the lines, we grew up and started paying less attention to creating things. We became more focused on who our friends were, what our weekend plans looked like, how to get into college, where to apply for jobs, how to make more money….in short, we put down the glue stick, hung up our smocks, and joined the rat race. And along the way, most of us forgot how much we enjoyed making stuff out of clay, or sniffing the markers that were supposed to smell like fruit (what was the blue one supposed to be, anyway? It just smelled like pure sugar…) We re-shifted our focus onto the necessary and the immediate, and lost sight of doing simple things that help us get in touch with the kid inside- the stuff that helps us maintain balance and equilibrium in our lives.

Since you might be one of those people who has forgotten the joy of creating art, let me refresh your memory. There is something calming and therapeutic about getting busier with your hands and less busy with your brain.

Ryan and I went to the K-12 Gallery last Saturday for art class, and after an initial adjustment period (which is to be expected whenever you try something new), we both settled into our projects and gave our brains a break for a hot second. He was working on print making (transferring paint from a plastic sheet onto a piece of paper), while I learned the ropes of stained glass art. I cut my thumb within the first five minutes, which slowed me down for a few minutes, but once I got used to the cutting tools, clamps and copper wire and just let my creative side take over, I enjoyed it so much I didn’t want to leave at the end of the two hour class.

There was actually a palpable shift in my attitude after I stopped thinking and turned off the reflex that was making me feel inadequate and underqualified for stained glass window-making. At first I was anxious. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was afraid to make a mistake. But not giving myself a choice in the matter, I reached into the buckets of glass, settled on a color palette, and just started cutting angles in the glass.

After about a half hour, I actually felt myself relax. I started making conversation with the people at my table, I made myself at home in the gallery and just kept repeating the process, seeing real results as the pieces of blue and green glass started to fit the frame the way they were supposed to. And at the end of two hours, despite it being a work-in-progress, I felt satisfied. And I know in two weeks when my window is finished, no matter how it turns out, I’m going to hang it up and feel pride every time I look at it. It’s not about the end result, it’s about how you feel during the process. It’s about letting go of what’s eating at you, relaxing your brain, and just letting your creative side take over.

Whether it’s creating a unique invitation for a bride out of layers of metallic and textured card stock and ribbon, painting with my friend Nathan, or making a stained glass window at K-12, I find so much enjoyment and balance in using my hands to create something from nothing. While I’ve spent today blogging about the experience in the hopes that it’ll reach some of you (and inspire you!) there is nothing like creating art to get you back to basics, whether it’s in your work, your home, or your life. Try it…you might be surprised at the results.

Why else should we support our local businesses? Because those businesses were usually built from the ground up, with care and tenacity, sweat and tears- and since they are built with TLC, they honestly tend to care more about their customers who have helped make them so successful. Have you shopped at Dorothy Lane Market lately? DLM started as a fruit stand in 1948 – yes, that’s right, a fruit stand. And they still support local growers today with their “Honestly Local” policy. They also take care of their customers by offering some of the best service you’ll find anywhere, hands down. And because of their outstanding quality foods, unsurpassed customer service, and local flavor, they’ve built a loyal customer base of tens of thousands of Daytonians.

I’ve had several experiences lately with non-local vendors who have made mistakes on orders and haven’t been willing to work with us to make it right for our clients. We are just a faceless voice on the end of the phone or the unknown person on the other side of an email- and there was little motivation on their part to make it right. They don’t know us; they don’t know our clients- simply put, they’re not invested in us, our clients or our success. If we don’t place another order with them, someone else will, in some other city, in some other state, and these vendors will move right along down the “fill as many orders as quickly as we can” path without looking back.

I don’t want to sound like I’m whining – I’m not. I’m simply pointing out that when I compare large faceless companies to some of the amazing local vendors and artists I’ve worked with here in Dayton – there’s just no comparison at all.

For example, take Ashley Mauro, a local photographer who stopped by my store about a year ago to introduce herself. She came smiling through the door saying, “I’ve been referring people to you and decided I wanted to get to know who I was sending people to…” We had a long chat and afterward I knew I could recommend her work (and her personality) with 100% confidence that my customers would be thrilled with their choice. And if her amazing photography doesn’t speak for itself, her friendly and sweet nature would put even the most stubborn clients at ease. She even took the time to send me a thoughtful little gift of tea and teacups later that week after we’d chatted about our Starbucks addictions.

Then there’s Jaffe jewelers, a Dayton favorite for over 40 years. I had a bride tell me recently how impressed she was with her jeweler for really listening and carefully walking them through the process of choosing a ring that was perfect for them. After meeting with Jaffe, she and her fiance went out to dinner with family; the jeweler they had worked with earlier that day remembered where they had said they were dining and he had a bottle of wine sent to their table. Because he took the time to listen, and made an extra effort to make his clients feel special, he now has a customer for life.

When we continuously refer clients to other service providers we trust, the cycle of support continues…the local businesses thrive, the customers tell their friends about their experiences, and everybody wins.

What’s the bottom line? People like to shop local because they feel taken care of- they can put a face and a voice with a brand. My customers know me. They know what to expect when they come into the shop. And they know that if their New Year’s cards that UPS claims were delivered on December 23rd didn’t actually arrive, that I’m going to spend December 26th re-creating them from scratch and find a way to get them to my customer before the 31st. No matter what. I take care of my people because they take care of me. I believe in building relationships with the people I serve because they are the ones who support us and make it possible to open our doors every day. It’s about sharing the love throughout our network of clients and other local businesses so we can all continue to pay it forward and make our community grow and thrive.

If you’re like a lot of people who hear the term “minimalism” you might instinctively think it’s something only fanatic people undertake in order to prove that they don’t need much to live on, or maybe you simply write off the idea as impossible or impractical. Regardless, I encourage you all to stop for a second – I mean really STOP- and take a very literal inventory of your lives. What is it you could do without? And more importantly, why are you hanging onto all of it?

For me, it all started because I recently decided downsizing is a necessity. Somehow over the past ten years I went from being able to fit all of my earthly possessions into a 10×14 dorm room, to filling a three story house (and attic) with stuff. It’s completely excessive. It’s wasteful. I realized that I had five tv’s – yeah, five – and I don’t even have cable! But somehow they accumulated and there are now three sitting in my garage. I’m currently looking for a smaller house. I bought a smaller car. I have painstakingly gone through every closet (some twice) to rid them all of excess. Why am I doing this, you ask? Because I realized one thing: I. Just. Don’t. Need. It. And it’s taking up space…space in my house, space in my life, space that could be happier free-flowing around itself in pursuit of better ways to spend the days than being distracted with a lot of things that I frankly don’t use, didn’t know I had, and most importantly would be better off in someone else’s hands. Because that’s the thing about it- most of the stuff we keep in drawers and closets and don’t ever touch might make a difference to someone else who actually needs it. When was the last time you used that “extra extra” set of dishes? Or the long wool winter coat with the intense shoulder pads? But mark my words- there is someone out there who would use it, need it, and possibly even cherish it.

You might be wondering, “How does having too much stuff clutter up your life and distract you from what’s really important?” Here’s how: every single thing in our lives serves a purpose. And if it isn’t actively serving a purpose (like a toothbrush) then it’s passively sitting there, creating stagnant energy, and occasionally drawing our attention away from other pursuits of happiness. How many minutes have you wasted digging through a drawer looking for something? How many hours have you spent flipping through channels without really seeing what’s on? Those moments add up, my friends. They eventually take up hours and hours of our time…and I don’t know about you, but I’d rather spend that time sharing experiences with people who matter to me and building relationships. I’d rather spend that time out in the community trying to figure out how to make it a better place to live, and exploring cool places off the beaten path and supporting local businesses. I’d rather get to know other free-thinking people, share ideas with them, and pursue interests that I had no idea would provide so much satisfaction once I actually paid attention to them and allowed them space in which to flourish and grow.

Another way I’m doing things on a smaller scale- I decided not to send a mass holiday card this year. Instead, over the next few weeks I’m going to send handwritten cards to people that I actually need to say something to…friends I have missed, people who have performed amazing acts of kindness, anyone with whom I have a message to share. And I hope it’ll mean more than a mass-produced impersonal card. This year, writing cards represents my personal desire to emphasize quality over quantity.

I find tremendous happiness and fulfillment in the fact that my garage has stacks of stuff in it waiting to be loaded up and delivered to Goodwill, Agape for Youth, Bethany Lutheran Village (they take tv’s!) and other friends who might be able to use the clothes and toys that Ryan has outgrown. Trust me- it feels GOOD to downsize. And once you get started, it becomes progressively easier to just say, “Nope, don’t need it. Yep, that can go too.” It makes me feel lighter, freer. It actually gives me energy. And it emphasizes that there’s no reason to hang onto things that I simply don’t use. We could all benefit from realizing that memories shouldn’t be attached to objects – memories live inside our hearts and minds, where we can visit them whenever we choose.

One thing I will hang onto as a sentimental and simple reminder is the t-shirt Richard gave me for Christmas that so succinctly states, “< = >” ….in other words….less equals more.

Cheers to all of you in 2012, and may you find happiness and simplicity in the things that truly matter.

…don’t forget to slow down, make time for friends and loved ones, and try to remember that this time of year isn’t about rampant consumerism, or the latest technological gadgety doo-dads, or the eight dozen cookies you need to make for the school cookie exchange. The holiday season holds special meaning for many people, for many different reasons. For me, it’s about reminding myself that this shouldn’t be the only time of year when I count my blessings. It shouldn’t be the only time of year when I make a point to get together with friends and celebrate the fact that we are in each other’s lives. It shouldn’t be the only time of year when I do something special for my son, like taking him to see the Festival of Lights at the Cincinnati Zoo or going iceskating at Riverscape.

I realized this evening while I was adding more content to my website (in a desperate attempt to reach the white whale of 50,000 pages….eek) and feeling in general like despite the 7 hours I put into it today, I still hadn’t gotten “anything” done, that I need to slow down a second and look around me before I miss all the good stuff. Yes, I have two articles to write for the Dayton City Paper before December 12th. Yes, I have a laundry list of websites to do SEO for that should have been done….um….yesterday. Yes, I have a stationery business to run. Yes, I have gingerbread cookies to bake with my son (no, not like the above…that was a joke, I couldn’t help myself). Yes, I have a million places to be in December, and the countdown to the busiest month of the year is at t-minus three days. {Insert screaming into pillow here…}

The point I’m trying to make is that it’s easy to feel overwhelmed during the holidays…to feel like you’re “never going to get it all done in time.” If you’re like a lot of people, your calendar fills up quickly in December with holiday parties, work festivities, family get-togethers, shopping excursions, meeting friends for cocktails, et cetera, et cetera… but try to remember that if you ARE one of those people with a full calendar, consider yourself completely and utterly blessed. You’re flat out lucky. Because there is nothing better than surrounding ourselves with those we love, during the holiday season but also throughout the rest of the year.

So stop screaming into the pillow, and stop freaking out that you’re never going to get it all done at work…this is no different than the rest of the year, honestly – you just have more stuff to do because this is the time of year when people decide to get together and celebrate something, be it Christmas, Hanukkah, or Festivus. And that’s a blessing. So take a deep breath, go put on your favorite ugly sweater, pick up your mug with the moose antler handle and savor every last sip of that eggnog. EMBRACE the holiday craziness. Because before we know it, it’s going to be January, and we’re all going to complain about how the holidays are over and now there’s nothing to do. So before that happens, while you’re feeling festive, go tell someone you love them. Go adopt a family in need, give a Good Neighbor Sack from Dorothy Lane Market, or send a card to someone far away. Just try to slow down and find the true meaning of the season, whether it’s spiritual, philanthropic, or family-oriented – enjoy the gifts of the season, and share whatever you can with others who might need a reminder (or a hug). We’re all in this together. Much love, health and happiness to all of you…now and in the coming days and weeks…

And if you want to try the world’s best Gingerbread Cookies, here ya go…(tip: they’re even better after they’re a few days old – if they make it that long…)

Gingerbread Cookies (a recipe from my Godmother, Aunt Janet)

• 1 c white sugar
• 1 c margarine
• 1 c molasses
• 1 c buttermilk
• 2 tsp baking soda
• 5 tsp ginger
• pinch salt
• 7 cups flour

Mix all ingredients in a large bowl, roll out dough onto floured surface and cut with cookie cutters. Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes. When cool, decorate with white icing and red hots. YUM!

There should be more days when we allow ourselves just one goal: create beauty. I’ve had the unique opportunity to spend some time in the Front Street studios, working and painting alongside renowned artist, Mike Elsass. Mike’s Dayton gallery, “The Color of Energy,” and countless others from Sedona to Chicago showcase his talents, and now The Envelope is proud to display and sell his work- a dynamic assortment of pieces Mike has created with rust and acrylic on steel. The result is a vibrant body of art that is rich in color, depth, motion, and texture.

For me, painting with Mike is an escape…an escape from the ordinary, an escape from routine, an escape from the array of randomness that riddles my brain on a daily basis. Painting allows me to simply create. Do I know what I’m doing? Nope. Have I learned to enjoy the beauty of exploring something new? Absolutely.

Every day I stare in wonder at the magnificent pieces that now adorn the walls of The Envelope, and it means so much more to me after experiencing it firsthand, from an artist’s perspective. After rolling up the sleeves of my white tuxedo shirt (a happy alternative to the traditional smock), I witnessed the creative process in various stages… from the very beginning when the sheets of steel were treated with vinegar and sand, covered in plastic and left to corrode, to the process of applying color and texture, layer after layer. ”There are no mistakes…” was the only rule. Despite this simple creed, at first I was worried about “messing up,” but as I experimented with different colors, sand, powders, brushes, and rollers I became more comfortable and I settled into the work, which became meditative and therapeutic.

As I worked, I realized that like life, creating art is a process. I couldn’t expect perfection from the get-go, and I didn’t necessarily know where I was headed. There were times when I felt like I’d made mistakes, but the beauty of the process allowed me to keep going, over and over, until it felt right. Sometimes I asked for guidance, and other times I dug through the bucket of acrylics, picked one (burnt orange was a reliable stand-by), and tried again on my own.

A little paint here, a little copper dust there, a few more brushstrokes here…now how about some chalk? I followed my whims, I watched and learned, I eventually found comfort in the reassurance of knowing “there are no mistakes.” And when all was said and done, the result was a beautiful collaborative effort- perfect in its imperfection.

To me, painting isn’t just an escape, but a lesson- an exercise in personal growth. It stretches the boundaries of familiarity, inspires creative freedom, and allows me to experience a glimpse inside the life of an artist. I value the days when I allow myself to simply create. I revel in the colors, the scents, the feel of the work…by painting with Mike Elsass, I get to experience firsthand the color of energy. Come see for yourself why the work of this incredibly talented local artist has become so widely acclaimed – once you experience it, “you won’t know what hit you…and you’ll never turn back.”

There is a difference between “doing” and “trying.” In one of Tony’s presentations he asks a woman in the audience who says she’s trying to fix her marriage to “try to pick up the chair.” She turns around and picks up her chair. He says, “No, don’t pick up the chair, TRY to pick up the chair.” They go round and round until she eventually gets extremely frustrated – but the point he is making is that there are only two options 1) picking up the chair or 2) not picking up the chair. If you’re trying to do something it’s the same as not doing it. It’s only when we actually DO something that it’s considered action. Trying is essentially the same thing as failing.

This concept is something I’ve had a hard time getting my head around, and it has been frustrating for me at times when I have felt like I really did try my best to do something. It’s easy to become indignant and defensive, thinking that I tried and still nothing happened. But obviously that’s all I did – I tried – which isn’t the same as “I did it.” This principle applies to every aspect of our lives if you really think about it: relationships, business decisions, everything we do on a daily basis. Here’s a perfect example of how trying isn’t action, but rather inaction – how many times have you said, “I tried to get out of bed when the alarm went off…” Did you notice that trying to get out of bed was the same thing as NOT getting out of bed? Hmmm…interesting how that works, isn’t it…When we successfully do something, we don’t ever say we “tried.”

Start paying attention to how many times you respond with, “I’ll try.” Then see if you can shift your mindset a little bit, and really ask yourself if trying is enough, or if you want to actually make something happen. There’s a difference. If you want to get more clients, get out there and market yourself. If you want to mend fences with someone, pick up the phone and talk to them. If you want to have the life you deserve, go get it.

When we decide to stop trying and start doing, we become forces of nature and catalysts for change. When we start “doing,” we realize the power we possess to make amazing things happen with our lives, and other people’s lives around us. Let’s become a force for change and see what happens….I’m betting we can make the world a better place. So let’s stop trying, and as Nike so simply and powerfully put it, “Just do it.”

I’ve been struggling with the idea of “change vs. complacency” lately, largely due to being presented with an abundance of ideas for how to expand and grow, at least in our little slice of cyberspace. I’ve been told firmly how vital it is to have a “web presence” and what exactly that entails…SEO on the website, redesigning the site so it’s more functional and current, blogging on a regular basis, keeping up with Facebook posts, Tweeting, and continuously adding LinkedIn contacts. What I’ve learned is that web-based marketing and networking via social media constitutes a rather exhausting fulltime job…but it’s one that I believe is critical to make time for (despite already having several “fulltime jobs”, i.e. a business to run, son to raise, household to maintain, and friendships and relationships to nurture.)

Which begs the question- how do I manage it all? How do I successfully integrate social media and a strong online presence with the paper industry when the whole foundation of my business is based on an organic, tactile experience – not a virtual one. I support writing letters. Why? Several reasons. Paper is beautiful; to fully experience it appeals to the senses…there are gorgeous textures, colors and styles, creating endless opportunities to express oneself artistically and uniquely. But I also believe in writing because it is meaningful. It literally sends the message, “I care about you. I took the time to get out a pen, pick out a card, and write to you.” And in a society that is racing at lightning speed toward convenience and efficiency, and how much we can accomplish in as little time as possible, some would argue that letter-writing is a dying art. Case in point, someone said to me recently, “I can punch out three text messages and an email at a 30-second stoplight.” And while this is the very definition of “efficiency” it makes me question the depth of our relationships if they are easily maintained with a text or an email sent while sitting at a red light.

This is why I struggle. Everything I know about social media and the web dictates the necessity in having a kick-ass online presence not just to stay competitive, but in order to actually survive as a small business. So the only solution I can entertain is to figure out how to integrate a) the value of written correspondence with b) web-based marketing and social media.

I think the following Wall Street Journal article sums it up perfectly, and I hope you’ll enjoy it. As always, I welcome your thoughts and feedback….

WSJ- Stationery’s New Followers from August 25, 2011

Ally’s invitations were a collaborative effort- she used her super sweet design skills to layout the save the dates, invitations, menus, and programs. We ordered the paper and did all the printing. She and Ben spent weekends prior to the wedding diligently assembling everything post-production, and made sure every detail was perfect, down to the ribbon they ironed and creased themselves on each and every invitation.

Their wedding was the first weekend of August at the Glass Pavilion in Toledo, which is part of the Toledo Museum of Art. Her wedding was fabulous and absolutely gorgeous – from the traditional Catholic mass in a breathtaking cathedral where both her parents and grandparents were married years before, to the glass-blowing demonstration that took place at the reception, right down to Allyson’s blue Manolos. I’m so glad I could be there to witness the marriage of such amazing individuals, and to take part in the preparation process with her as well.

[Show as slideshow]