I’ve been stewing all morning about what I should be doing differently… with my business, with my life, and with my relationships. There’s just an overarching feeling that I’m not quite doing something “right.” And I’ve felt somewhat paralyzed by indecision as I’ve been swirling options around in my head without any particular direction or end point in mind. It’s like I’ve been on a circular ride at the fair that just keeps going round and round and has left me feeling strangely disoriented and a little queasy. With ten years under my belt, it’s only natural to start questioning the path I’m on and where it might be headed over the next ten (or so).
Questions and ideas flow. Has my time in the paper world wound down? Maybe I should look at opening a reception venue. Maybe I should take my design business and expand it, traveling more and working from the road. Or maybe I just need to focus on doing what I already do but do it BETTER. Grow my social media following. Expand my product offerings. Partner with some other unique businesses. Do something awesome with the building I’m already in. And round and round I go with idea after ill-formed idea, just pie in the sky, waiting for something to form out of my mental cloud shapes so all of a sudden I shout with realization, “Yes! That’s it! Obviously. It’s a rabbit holding a bow and arrow. It’s perfectly clear now.”
And along with the questions of what I should be doing with the shop naturally arise questions of what I should be doing with the rest of my life. Yep, I know, big questions for a Wednesday. But if we don’t question things or seek continuous growth, then what? We stagnate. We stop growing. We stop feeling inspired and interested by our lives. We stop feeling like we have something to give to others, to the world. I don’t have the answers today. But I have the questions. And slowly I’ll live my way into the answers.
On my to-do list today, at the very top, is “blog post.” So instead of stewing about what to do and what not to do, I decided to get over myself and actually write about it. So here I sit, blogging, as a reminder that this always seems to help make sense of things. And writing is a good way for a lot of us creatives to feel productive but also to process.
Next on my list: “book trip.” No, that doesn’t mean I’m taking a book tour. It’s just a reminder that sometimes getting lost helps us find ourselves. So I found a reasonable flight to Costa Rica in February to visit my grandma and will book it tonight once I get home and can check my passport number. Traveling forces me to get outside of my daily life, break certain habits, read more, listen more, and connect more deeply with the world outside the four walls of my house and my store. Changing your perspective has a way of well, changing your perspective.
Number three on my list? “Stay open.” It’s a habitual tendency to close in on ourselves when we feel bogged down by daily life, bored with our surroundings, or uninspired by our pursuits. It’s easy to tunnel vision into ourselves and become “me-centric” thinking obsessively about what we feel, think, and need… And it’s fine to do a little bit of that while soul searching in order to really listen to yourself. But at a point it’s time to get over yourself, DO something, and keep your face toward the sun. If you don’t, you might miss whatever is coming your way.